before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
