I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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