He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
