Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
