Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
