There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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