Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
