I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
