found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
