im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize