i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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