C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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