I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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