1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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