i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
