it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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