We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
