We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
