I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
