I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
