are you still at the devil's house?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
