everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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