If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Boobs speak an international language.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
