hotel room ftw
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
