Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
