you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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