The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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