YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
