Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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