he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
