Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
