okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
