would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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