my being single is dangerous.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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