i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I need moral support for this bender
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
