i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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