Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
