and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
