she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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