so explain again why im purple
no
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
