I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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