If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
