the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
