Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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