We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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