I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
only if we run a train.
done.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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