Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
