I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
did i walk over a car last night?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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