They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
