He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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